How did I cope as an Alzheimer’s caregiver? How indeed. I had no idea how to survive the following years, but little by little I discovered things that helped tremendously. I want to share with you the events and situations that saved me, hoping they may help you as well.
I Got Help From the Alzheimer’s Association: The Alzheimer’s Association helped me immeasurably. They had an online coaching service and I emailed my coach on a daily basis.
I Kept a Journal: Keeping the journal became a creative outlet in its own right. It later formed the basis for my uplifting, award-winning book, Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy. Alzheimer’s. Caregivers who have read it say it was very helpful to them. Previous caregivers say they wish they’d had it when they were caregivers.
I Learned How to Get Along With Ed Better: A friend had life-saving advice for me: Don’t bring up topics that might upset Ed, If he does get upset, change the subject quickly, and Don’t argue, correct or contradict him. When I finally mastered these tips, our arguments decreased considerably and our relationship returned more or less to its former loving state.
I Took up a Hobby About Which I Became Passionate: One day I wandered aimlessly around Best Buy until I came to the camera section. I ended up buying one. The best thing about my new hobby was that time stood still when I was doing “a shoot.” It took my mind completely off Ed and his condition.
I Made Peace With Alzheimer’s: It’s one thing to admit a loved one has Alzheimer’s. It’s another entirely to accept the diagnosis in your heart. One day I started taking Ed stuffed animals. He loved them. We started playing games with them and giggled like a mother playing with her little toddler. One day I realized a profound change had taken place in my heart. I became aware that I had accepted his condition and I had found a way to relate to him. A way that was satisfying for both of us.